Don't make out with my wife yet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. ðŸ˜
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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