Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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