I think scott just propositioned me for sex
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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