I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
