strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
