omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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