I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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