What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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