I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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