three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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