i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
