I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
