ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
