I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize