She announced her abortion via fbk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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