i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
