Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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