yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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