I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
