Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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