im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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