pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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