you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
