i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
