dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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