Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
