Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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