there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
