Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
