dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
