I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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