doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just invented taco cereal.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
