Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
