Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
