ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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