Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize