butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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