Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
