HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
