This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
