life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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