She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
