Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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