who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
