So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
