idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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