I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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