There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
