he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
