New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
