To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
