They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
