apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
