marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
