Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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