So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
