Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
