Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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