At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
