can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
