Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
