so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
