I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize