i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Come on in and take your pants off
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