Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
