You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
