Your tits are I can't wait for
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
