I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
