Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
