I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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