The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Terrible idea I love it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
