My first STD was from a foam party
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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