Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
