Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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