In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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