woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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