She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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