bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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