there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
why is half of my head shaved?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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