I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm bleeding and have questions
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